As a personal brand strategy coach, I work with clients helping them unearth their authentic strengths, their unique promise of value and help them connect the dots for their prospects and clients of "the why" in "why do business with me." That authenticity is key to any relationship they are forming, business included. In fact, if you believe that all business is based on relationships. Then understand that the key to all relationships is the relationship you have with yourself.
"Know thyself" stated Shakespeare. And, he is so correct, because it is yourself you bring into every connection. This becomes even more evident in making connections with minority based businesses where even our communication is scrutinized for inclusion, awareness and biases.
"Creating community, awareness and inclusion is our focus" shared Odel Crawford, president of the Texas Association of African American Chambers of Commerce. "Our theme for this month's conference is GROWING BLACK OWNED BUSINESSES IN TEXAS. We realize that there are many issues associated with the development, enhancement and sustainability of minority owned businesses. Of course our focus is on African-American entrepreneurs, however we realize the importance of supporting all minority owned businesses as they are important part of a community's economy."
Mr. Crawford brings out three important points to connecting to any minority business or community and that is to "create community, awareness and inclusion". As a coach, I'm driven to make this into useful, do-able, action oriented activities, so let's go:
- First is AWARENESS. Are you aware of the many communities within your community? Sometimes, diversity trainers will say that we focus too much on the differences. While that might be true, I believe that the differences are their already and to ignore them is not authentic. And don't we know that in connecting with people, that insincerity can be "read" quite quickly? How many cultures are in your community? Make a list and next to each culture identify if there is a group, organization, or association that represents that culture.
- Second is INCLUSION. Time for some self discovery. Do you do anything that "excludes" or "includes" everyone in your connections? Self discovery can be challenging however, we are that common denominator in every business relationship we have so we're a critical factor. Diverse connections come in many packages and sometimes it is easy for us to assume that the outside or external differences are the only ones we should concern ourselves with. Remove questions like "what are you?" or "what's your nationality?" and rather use all the great networking questions that the many fine experts of this publication will teach you. Asking great questions, or yourself and others and then listening will provide all the "skills" you need to make great connections.
Spending time in self discovery will also help reveal any assumptions that you might have or make. Assumptions, as we all know, can be quite damaging to reputations and relationships. Rachel Stone, president, of the Midland Hispanic Chamber of Commerce and active member of the Texas Association of Mexican American Chambers of Commerce, shares the surprised reaction she gets and comments made when she meets them such as "Your last name is Stone? Are you married to an Anglo man? Or, wow, how did you get a last name like that?"
Abraham Maslow, the creator of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs, found that in addition to the basics of food, water, shelter, air, people have a need to "belong and to be valued." Do you fulfill that need for people when you converse with them? Do you do and say things that make them feel that they "belong" or that they are "valued"?
Here's a quick revealing test to see if you do. Have you ever had someone who has to tell you the story in order to relay the facts to you? Have you ever tried to "cut them off" and give you "just the answer" or "the bottom line information"? If you have, you are guilty of making the person who values "detail and information" feel not valued. Truthfully, have you ever done that to anyone?
As in any networking situation, the goal is to learn more about the other person. The more you know the better the connection you can make. The deeper connection you make the more memorable and visible you become (for all the right reasons). The better the connection the more chance they have to sample your character and competence. The more chance they have to sample your character and competence then the faster trust is developed. Trust is foundational to all great relationships - including business relationships.
Dale Carnegie in his book "How To Win Friends and Influence People" speaks of the rules of engagement. One of the rules is, take a genuine interest in what they're interested in. One, cannot take a genuine interest in someone if they do not know what they're true interest is. It's amazing how often I hear people say, "I think this is what he wants. Or, I know that she wants this." Yet, they've 'not asked the person. They are speaking for this person. How do you feel when someone speaks "for you" and does not check in to see if that's really how you feel? Often the feeling is that of assumptions, being judgmental and even to the point of stereotyping.
So, let's get better at asking some good questions. When you ask great questions you get great answers! When do you ask these questions? When you're at a networking event or when you are meeting someone. Steer clear of asking these in "rapid fire" style or like a 20 point oil check. Do weave them into your coffee conversations. They will put more "meat" into your grip, grin and graze. Here are some to put in your connection bag:
- What organizations do you belong to? Or, enjoy spending time with?
- What drew you to those organizations? What drew you to this organization?
- What have you found to be your most successful times with this organization?
- What are some of the barriers that you've encountered as an organization?
- What do you enjoy about what you do?
- What are some of your favorite activities or events with the organizations you're involved in?
- How do you keep yourself connected with others between networking or social events?
The key to great questions is to be silent and listen to the answers.
Lastly:
- Create COMMUNITY. Bring people together and give them opportunity to feel valued. One of the keys to creating community is to value the people that you are bringing together and that they value you. It is in this "valuing" that you create trust. Trust is a key component to any community and to any team.
Have you ever heard the comment opposites attract? We hear that often especially in the context of couples. And, while in personality style they may be opposites, a closer study reveals that they do share something in common - the same values. Look closely at people in long term relationships and you'll see that they share the same values.
Now, while that is true for marriages and long term relationships there are also some relationships where people do not share the same values but they do share something else in common. They have a shared activity that they enjoy or do together.
As you create community, it can be by discovering and sharing the same VALUES or by having a SHARED ACTIVITY (such as the African American Chambers of Commerce, or the Hispanic Chambers of Commerce) that brings you together.
As this great melting pot world becomes more like the great salad bowl world, you'll see that connecting with minority based networks is more about people relationships that in is about cultural relationships. And, whether their connection is values, generations, experiences or interests, the deepest connections are made people to people.
The true spirit of relationship performance management is to take high performing entrepreneurs and executives from frantic networking to profitable engagement that comes from shedding the limitations of old sales pitches and creating compelling connections. I invite you to discover your personal brand strengths and connect-ability readiness by taking this on-line quiz found at http://www.buzz2bucks.com
If you'd like to learn more about succeeding at your personal brand, visit http://www.buzz2bucks.com You'll learn everything you need to know from what is your personal brand, how to use what makes you best, and engage others in a way that compels others to speak positively on your behalf and influence their contact sphere to your benefit.
Maria Elena Duron, C.P.B.S., C.N.P. PCC, is Chief Buzz Agent, speaker and coach specializing in connecting high performing entrepreneurs and executives and using what makes them best so they can move from their frantic pursuit to success and balance now.
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